January. Wow, my last post was in January. I knew it had been a while, but 5 months? I think that is the longest I have gone without writing! It feels good to be back. Where did I go? Well, at first I was embarrassed. I felt like I needed to announce that we are expecting our 5th little one - which I never officially did (but I guess I'm doing now?). As much as I wish I was one of those confident people who doesn't care what people think. I'm not. I struggle with it - A LOT. I was personally excited the first couple of weeks, but afraid to admit it. Then, when the pregnancy hormones kicked in full force, the word excited was no where in my vocabulary. Scared, yes. Doubting myself, you bet. I found myself constantly analyzing the comments I get at the grocery store (your crazy, I'm glad its you and not me, you DO know what causes that, right?, How can you give them enough...time, attention, money, space?). At the time, those comments weren't bothe