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Showing posts from March, 2013

Suicide

My dad's sister took her life today.  My mom's brother took his life 10 years ago.


One of the last things I said to them:

Auntie,
We would love to see you guys too! Know that you are always welcome here in Maine. We think back fondly to the time that you guys visited
Thanks for checking in Aunt Kay. Love you! Hope things are going well on
your end.

Uncle,
Nothing.

What I wish I would have said:
Dearest Auntie,
Things have been really busy here in Maine, but I am thinking about you and praying for you.  How are you doing?  I know pretty much everyone asks that, but I really mean it.  How are you, really?  It must be hard taking care of Uncle every day and night.  Are you able to get out for a breather every now and then?  I hope and pray you have a chance to get out with a friend who can offer you a smile and a hug - and maybe even a cup of coffee.  If I was there, I'd sure love to do that.  To tell you the truth, I'm only just learning how to love.  Sometimes it is…

I thought I knew Him then

Yesterday when we got home from grocery shopping I carried Teal (our 2 month old) & Avonlea (our 2 year old) inside and proceeded to unload the groceries while Blake and Cole got out of the car by themselves, or so I thought.  Blake helped put the groceries away but Cole was taking quite a while to get out of the car.  When I went back out for another load, and to check on Cole he was still sitting in his seat.  Waiting.  He was waiting for me to unbuckle him.  He didn't realize that his brother had already unbuckled him.  So he sat and waited - it was as if he was strapped in, even though he wasn't.  I said "Cole, you're already unbuckled - you can get up."  He smiled, got up quickly and ran inside.  It immediately made me think of how often I do the same thing in regards to my faith.  Jesus Christ has so much to offer me - so much power, so much grace, so much love - and yet I often live my life as if I'm strapped in.  He has broken my chains and s…

Blessings (Ugly/Beautiful) 1834 - 1844

Well, it has been a rough couple of days - so I decided to go for an Ugly Beautiful Blessings list today.  Each of these things seem yucky at the time...but If I dig deep enough I can find some beauty in them.

1834. Ugly - Cole cutting off almost all of Avonlea's hair
Beautiful -
Avonlea is just beautiful in general
She didn't lose an eye, or even get a cut
I got to see a friend I hadn't seen in a while (my hairdresser)
I heard lots of encouraging and funny hair & scissor stories

1835. Ugly - A very sore foot for more than a week
Beautiful -
My mom being here to help
My pain is temporary - I still have two feet and will soon be able to walk, run, skip & jump.
I told Matt I wanted to get out of the house because my foot hurt too bad to work around the house, and we ended up visiting grammy, seeing good friends, and enjoying a meal at moodys (which was ironic since I was feeling pretty moody)

1836. Ugly - Getting overwhelmed with my constantly messy living room & k…