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Mr. Mom

I've always been one of those "oops, I forgot to buy the orange juice" kind of moms.  I'm typically so busy chasing the kids around that I can't quite wrap my head (or hands) around all of the things that need to be done to keep the house running in an organized fashion.  So, we often run out of toilet paper - or use some random condiment on our steak (rather than the preferred A1). Matt has never quite understood what is/was so difficult about being organized and efficient.  And, to be completely honest it has been a source of contention.  Here's the thing though, I have always thought - "if he only knew how much energy it takes taking care of the kiddos all day, every day - he would understand that sometimes the other things take a back burner".  Well for the past three weeks (as I have been recovering from my hip replacement) Matt has been Mr. Mom.  I got home on Friday night and expected to find the house in complete disarray and in major need of my competent (or not so competent) hands.  When I first got home I headed to the rest room - and, I'm telling you, I don't think I've ever seen so much toilet paper other than on the grocery store shelves. The soap dispensers were filled,  the fridge was fully stocked, the pantry was organized, the basement was vacuumed - and even the kids rooms were tidy.  At first I thought, oh he must have spent all day yesterday getting the house ready for me to come home.  What a sweet heart.  But then, I asked him about it.  "Oh, I've kept it this way the whole time you were gone."
     "Even the kids rooms?"
     "Yeah, I just had them tidy up whatever they were doing before they moved on to the next thing"
Do you know how often and how hard I try to keep my kids on top of their chores?  It is a constant battle.  I feel like I am chasing tornadoes around the house all day long.
     I am not sure exactly how to respond to the fact that my husband is better than I am at home making.  My first response was/is to make excuses.  Well, he didn't have to feed the baby every three hours, or he didn't have to cook meals (friends and family have been bringing them) or he was at work all day and just had them in the evenings (he did have them two full weekends).  But, if I am honest with myself - I'm pretty sure that even if he had to do all of those things, he would still do them better than I do.  So I am humbled and not exactly sure what God is trying to teach me through all of this.  There is a part of me that wants to compete - to show him that I can do it too (even though I'm hobbling around on one leg), another part of me that feels a bit defeated and kind of like a failure, and then of course the part that is incredibly proud of my husband.  I have been talking to God about it some and the only thing I've come away with so far is that I need to admit my weaknesses and accept His unconditional love.  I am going to continue to try my best and ask God for help, but more than likely I will continue to fall short.  God loves me where I am at, though - dust and all. He is still using me...and hopefully my strengths are bringing other less obvious, but just as positive things into our home.  I try to keep our house in order because I know it is important to Matt and it has become important to me too - but, keeping our house in tip top shape is not my utmost priority.  My priority is my children's hearts, their minds, their bodies (healthy cooking etc..), their walks with God (not to mention mine) - and though I am far from perfect even in those areas - I'd much rather the tupperware fall out of the kitchen cabinets than let my children's hearts slip through my fingers.  Somehow, Matt was able to do both incredibly well - and my temptation is to prove that I can too.  But, right now I don't think I can - and, I'm asking God to help me be ok with that. I am praying that He will continue to strengthen my in my weak areas, but remind me consistently that He loves me right where I am...and even more importantly that "His strength is made perfect in weakness" 2Cor 12:9

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