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Old hips & new hope

     It is 5:30 am, the perfect time for me to spend some quality time with Jesus - but, I don't want to.  So, I'm writing this blog post instead.  You know what?  As I typed that I heard a still small voice (hopefully the Holy Spirit and not the Oxycodone) say - "I am with you always."  So, I guess officially I am spending time with Jesus...and my blog.  I thought I'd take a few moments to record some thoughts about the journey I'm walking (well, actually NOT walking) through in regards to my recent hip replacement. 
     The few weeks before the hip replacement were quite intense.  I had no idea how much time and energy it would take to figure out what to do with four kiddos for two weeks. You would probably laugh if you could see the size of the spreadsheet labeled "Hip Surgery - Kiddos".  There were soooo many needs.  God is pretty incredible though!  Every day either someone would come to mind or call me out of the blue asking what they could do to help.  And almost every time I had an answer for them.  Wow, it is humbling being needy.  But it is also so incredibly faith building.  God sent so many helpers.  Family, friends, and even people I'd lost touch with for years and years stepped up.  I have never felt so loved.  Because God was working so miraculously, my attitude was beautiful.  Those last few days I treated my husband with utmost respect and loved my children like never before.  NOT.  God would literally fill in 10 blanks on my spread sheet and I would thank Him by allowing my my stress level (and voice level) rise another 10 degrees.  I'm so thankful that I have a husband who, like my Heavenly Father, will never leave me nor forsake me.  Cuz, I'm guessing that month it might have been pretty tempting. 
    The week before the surgery the pain in my hip intensified 100%.  It was a strange feeling.  There was a part of me that was bummed to be experiencing so much pain and this other part of me that was thankful that my decision to have my hip replaced was being verified so clearly. I spent so much time that week physically preparing for my surgery that there really wasn't much time or energy left to prepare myself emotionally.  Riding to the hospital felt surreal. I went back and forth between trusting God and asking Matt to turn the car around.  The surgery was scheduled for 11:00.  We arrived around 10:15 and they immediately whisked me to a room without Matt.  He waited in a waiting room while they poked and prodded and asked questions and got me prepared.  I wasn't incredibly impressed (not with the care, but with the fact that my husband came to be my support and yet he had to do it from a room hundreds of yards away).  About an hour after we arrived they let him back in  and told us that it was now time to hurry up and wait.  They said that Dr.Brown was scheduled to be done around 11, but probably would be a few hours late because he was a perfectionist and wanted to make sure that every single surgery was done as perfectly as possible.  I was thankful to hear that and glad to wait for my perfectionist doctor - I was the next one on the table after all. The next couple hours Matt and I felt like we were on a date.  It was peaceful - truly. At one point I watched a slide show of my four precious blessings and tried to keep the tears from falling as I hoped and prayed that I would wake up and have the wonderful opportunity to continue being there mommy.  I reflected on their unique personalities and quirks and once again was overwhelmed with thankfulness for the blessings that God continually pours upon our family.
     I just realized this post is turning into a novel, so I'm going to go ahead and hit  publish and then write the rest of the story.  If you want to read the rest this morning, it'll probably be done in about a half an hour or so.  Thank you for your incredible support over the past few weeks. The emails, phone calls, facebook messages, and offers to help were and are an incredible blessing!


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